When you're sick, I DO believe you get to do whatever makes you feel better. Sleep as much as you can. Eat whatever tastes good. Just drink a ton of water and stay your ass at home. Banish yourself with the following and you'll (hopefully) be back on your feet tomorrow.

(I say that but this is now day 2 of feeling like Bruce Lee kicked me in the stomach and a completely broken internal temperature gauge causing 3 or 4 outfit adjustments per day.)

The most important thing to take away from this silly list of opinion-filled tips is STAY YOUR ASS AT HOME.

  • Nobody wants you around when you're sick
  • It's not noble
  • It's not brave
  • Your co-workers won't respect you more
  • You're just going to piss them off when you get THEM sick
  • Go home

Here's what I've been doing at home for the last 2 days:

Green Tea (hot or cold...however you like it)

I'm a big water drinker to begin with, but I also drink a lot of green tea. There's a laundry list of benefits apparently, but I drink it on the assumption that it's somehow better for me than just water. Hot or cold, it's just good stuff and I've acquired a strangely large collection for someone who isn't sure why it's good for them.

Anthony Bourdain Marathon (Parts Unknown or No Reservations, doesn't matter)

If a show involves food or traveling, I'll probably watch it. Need me to be on a couch for hours on end? Give me a Travel Channel marathon. Hell, I'll even watch that crappy Beach Front Bargain Hunt nonsense. Somehow, I lucked out the last couple of days. Anthony Bourdain has been my TV pal on and off for nearly 36 hours.

Travel Magazines and Cat

For someone who generally has no free time, I have a stupid amount of magazine subscriptions, as if I have more than a few minutes before bed to enjoy them. But I'm home and these things are awesome. My stomach may be killing me but I've daydreamed my next five trips abroad.

Cat with mags

White Castle

As stated above, I believe you get to eat whatever the hell sounds good to you when you're home sick. You can buys these in the frozen food section. I slept on the floor of the freakin' bathroom on Monday night...I definitely get to eat anything I want :-)

White Castle guilty pleasure

Catch Up on Pop Culture Stuff You Don't Understand

GTFOH with this Pokemon Go thing. I still don't get it and I think I'm OK with that. Seriously. WTH.

Pile on Mom's Quilts

No explanation needed, really. Grab your favorite blankies and KICK IT. You'll be too hot in a few minutes but whatever. My mom taught herself how to quilt and she was oddly good at it. I don't think she even enjoyed it, but she always said it kept her out of trouble.

Mom's Quilt