Wandering, hung over and in search of wine, your friend Riley found himself in Haines hall. Originally just seeking respite from the sunlight preying on my swollen brain, I wandered the cool showrooms and was absolutely blown away. Who would have thought a whole bunch of art students would crank out some seriously awesome pieces. Kick-ass skateboards, painted mannequins and portraits from the greatest book ever written by man:  A Confederacy of Dunces.

Let us take a moment and clarify. When I say things like "best book ever written by man," I mean that if you have not read this book to get off your ass, turn off the screen and stampede to your local literary proprietary and spend some money. Then, after you read the entire book in an afternoon and laugh yourself into a coma, spend a month growing a beard and eating through tubes, wake up from your coma  to find all your houseplants dead, write your name on the inside of the cover and send it to someone who deserves magnificent comedy. Hopefully someone less prone to comas.

Somewhat over-stimulated, I did my best not to touch anything. I have found this instinct to be helpful when around anything delicate and valuable while also kind of drunk. Not that such personal restraint was easy; the lightbox alphabet pulled on a kleptomaniac nerve. Sadly, I left my diamond thief-ninja catsuit at the bar with my dignity. Long story short, go see that madness before it is gone like the dodo bird or manatees over five years old. (Thesis show ends May 6th)

Riley, out.