What I Wish I Knew Before Standing in Front of a Montanan Judge

BUTTE, MT - Look, I’m not exactly a hardened criminal.

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But I’ve had my day in court recently, and, as I've never done that before, there are a few things I wish I knew before standing in front of a judge and pleading my case.

Whether you’re dealing with a speeding ticket, a noise complaint, or something a little heavier that makes your mom sigh when you walk into the kitchen, there are some unspoken rules about how to act when you’re standing in front of the bench.

This isn’t legal advice. This is just me advice. From one mildly panicked citizen to another...

Here are seven things I absolutely would or would not do if I ever found myself in court again.

(I'll tell you what I was in court for at the bottom, and how it turned out.)

By the way: why was I in court, you may be asking?

I was on my bicycle going through an empty intersection with a four-way stop sign. I had slowed down to a point of almost stopping, but not enough for a local officer.

I cleared through the intersection, peddling along, when I heard the lovely and totally-not-fear-inducing sound of a police "BEE-WHOOP". I had to double-take because I couldn't believe it was me who was being pulled over on my bicycle, something I had never heard of or experienced before.

The officer got my information, notified me that I did not indeed come to a full and complete stop, and gave me my $135 fine. Yes, one hundred and thirty five dollars.

So I went before a judge at 8:00am, donning my best suit and my best manners, only to have the judge tell me to be more careful and to pay the full citation.

Be careful out there, and remember: even when you're facing a $135 citation that you may not think is fair, we are lucky to be living in a place where we have the right to approach a judge and ask for forgiveness (or a reduction).