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Study Shows All Women In America Own Huge Horoscope Book

It’s not really a study, but I saw three of them this weekend. Those huge horoscope books are everywhere and it seems that every girl/woman in America owns one. I bought mine in my late teens. Some buy them when they get divorced. Others buy them because they have cool charts that we don’t understand.

Parkers Astrology
All chicks have a book like this, no?

Really. I don’t have a clue what the hell “my chart” looks like and one of my best friends is a psychic. Needless to say I don’t pay too much attention to my own horoscope but THOSE BOOKS….they’re everywhere.


Why the need to spend a good chunk of cash on these huge horoscope books? They tidily cover each sign with their vast generalizations.

I’m not even sure that each of these books tells you the same crap about your sign. I mean, if you open YOUR HUGE HOROSCOPE BOOK and look up Libra, does it say that dried beans represent me? WTF?

Libra stuff
I like Jade and Sapphires

I know I’m going to catch hell for this but I think the allure was all the pretty pictures and colors. Hear me out. The artwork in these HUGE HOROSCOPE BOOKS is pretty cool. And you think you’re learning all sorts of cool details about yourself that explain your petty, neurotic behaviors. (See ‘dried beans’ above.)

So, if you or a woman in your household currently owns one of these HUGE HOROSCOPE BOOKS, let us know where and when she got it. I’m betting good money that the pictures had something more to do with it than diving into the inner psyche of my dried beans. -Michelle

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