If you've ever dreamed of embarking on a journey to space but never quite felt like you had the chops to hang with the NASA elite, now would be a good time to try to locate an Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator and a solid pair of moon boots: you just might qualify to go to Mars.
Mars One, a nonprofit organization dedicated to taking humanity to Mars in 2023 is currently searching for astronauts that want to be a part of the first group to colonize the red planet.

Would-be-martians are not required to have any previous aeronautics experience; however, “astronauts must be intelligent, creative, psychologically stable and physically healthy.” And while applicants must be at least 18, there are no maximum age requirements. However, the younger the better in this case, as an 18-year-old will be 28 years old by the time he or she lands on Mars.

There will be at least eight years of training involved prior to shuttling the first team of four into space to become permanent residents of the planet. Unfortunately, all trips come with a one-way ticket: once you become an official Martian, you can never return to Earth.

We're going to continue to take our chances here on Earth. After all, until they find a way to build Mars Liquors, Strippers and Pizza Emporium, they have nothing we want.

More From The Moose 94.7 FM