Getting ready for golf season is a science that everyone should do, not just golfers. This list of tips has been created by me, not by some golf magazine promising to improve your swing before you even hit the course.

1) Organize Your Closet - Where are your golf clothes? Do you even fit into them? How much cheese did you EAT this winter? Getting ready for golf season depends heavily on looking good. You're going to suck so do your best to look the part.

2) Stock Up On Beer - If you're anything like me, you'll always come to the golf course stocked up on tasty beverages. It's important to bring them even if you're not in the mood to drink. When you're at the grocery or liquor store NOW, buy cases of beer when you spot them on sale. You'll save dozens of dollars later and always be welcome as a single to someone else's group.

3) Buy Neon Golf Balls Online - Cartoon balls are my personal favorite but buy white ones if you must. Buying used golf balls online pre-season will save your sanity when you're launching ball after ball into the pond and creek on hole #1 at Bridger Creek. Why buy good balls when you're going to lose them anyway?

4) Work Hard Now So You Don't Have To This Spring - My desk becomes a ghost town when golf season starts. This is an important tip to improve your game. Be a rockstar at work NOW so that when you're invisible every nice afternoon in the Spring, nobody will be pissed. Or surprised.

5) Buy Golf Passes As Birthday Presents - All public courses offer certificates for 9 or 18 holes so if you're going to buy gifts, buy those. That way your broke ass friends will have no excuse when you want to golf and don't have a partner.