Short People Have No Reason To Live

Don't judge me, even though I'm probably judging you.I realize this doesn't account for everybody but its something I've noticed in the past few weeks with my friends,  short, tall and wide. Almost all of my tall and wide friends lead very mellow lives and are among the most patient people I know. However the shorter they seem to get, the more high maintenance they become on keeping them happy. My theory is that they have less mass to absorb stress which keeps them oozing with "I hate you" energy. Don't get me wrong... Because I'm right.   Now here's a little tribute by Randy Newman titled "Short People Have No Reason To Live"

To anyone offended by this, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.